i'm fine i'm great really i'm ok

that numbness i feel is nothing at all the stubborn aching that burrows into my brain the visions of what could be that haunt my fading eyes the loss and turmoil that unravel my chest steal my breath and make me hesitate what is it to be alive

how lost have i been how long have i not cared may be the better question this season seems like it will never end a constant loop on repeat over and over again i care enough to try to try to keep walking endlessly without direction because truthfully i know this all ends the same eventually we drink our last drink eat our last meal dream our last dream i wait for that day i beg for that day

in a constant sea of bitterness hand in hand with loneliness and the dull company it provides shallow but better than nothing this never ending battle and contrast what is life without understanding the woes of our finite time a thousand cuts from broken glass and shattered memories that gnaw at your sides and pour acid in your veins they make a home inside your skin and cannot be pulled loose the love that blinds you and buries you alive the love that blinds you and becomes the noose

the words you never said but now you cant help but to repeat them until your gums bleed because some how that makes up for never uttering them at all absence that begs for someone to untie it

i'm fine i'm great i'm ok