somewhere in the future when your hair is gray and likely falling out your skin is wrinkled with time it's elasticity lost some twenty years before your memories start to look fuzzy like the home movies you found in your parents attic of you as a baby falling in the snow you'll have trouble remembering all the small things from all the added years

like how it felt the first time she set her hand on your cheek both of you crawling with nerves but lost in each other in the way where nothing else is moving nothing else is breathing

or a few days later how the stars shined off her skin the moon peering through the clouds how it illuminated her smile the first time she leaned in to press her lips against yours

or a few months later when you sat on the floor of your first apartment because you hadn't thought to buy a table you both laughed until you couldn't talk and that was ok

or a few years later how anxious you were to ask if she would be yours forever how you never saw someone cry so beautifully when you did

or sometime after that when you made her laugh even though she was crying because you were always awkward like that

or when you brought home your first dog because you were ready to grow into something bigger maybe a way to hold off on having a family of your own

Or years later when that dog passed you both cried talked about the silence in the house without his footsteps knowing a piece of you both was gone now to

or when she told you your family would grow she looked like the stars the stars the night she first leaned in you tripped on the laundry you were supposed to do before you could get to her

or the day that none of that ever came true because you were too distracted and didn't see the light change colors

or some years later when it was everything everything you could do to get out of bed and pretend to be real and keep from noticing how quiet that house was without them without anyone but you

or how you wished that you were more present when you had the chance because now it's fuzzy faces in worn out memories and that's all you have left