there are times i feel the weight of this life like a giant crushing boulder fixed on my neck slowly grinding down what is left of my frail skeleton wearing down my stature

but then

comes the weightless uneasy sickness the consuming feeling of gravity escaping this shell behind it an empty chasm of fragile masks a nothing so consuming it escapes all sense an aching darkness that leaves me stumbling with bloody hands reaching for a boulder to crush my collar bones and make me feel alive and make me feel something other than the dark